JustDeia Episode 2: Living a normal life with HIV/AIDS

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I know its been a minute since I've posted, sorry I've been going through a few things. The questions I did receive were asking how did me and my sister come to terms with our status. Basically the same question over and over. Simpy we just live each day, we really don't even wake up thinking about our status and like my sister states "Your mentality will kill you before your status does!"
 Hope you enjoy!

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Why I'm for minimum wage increase.

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Photo from livingstingy.blogspot.com

First let me say that for a few months I had to take on a part time job when I had fallen on hard times, so I guess I'm speaking for experience on this post. While I knew my situation was temporary I could not help but to think of those who didn't have another outlet, those for whatever reason were not able to "advance" in life. Working a job were you are paid next to nothing with hours that makes you feel like a job you dislike has consumed your life, is not only physically draining but also mentally. We complain about the lack of customer service we receive this day and age but what do people really have to work for? Why should they offer their best when we are saying "you don't deserve better and we think less of you?".
I also see people complaining about those who receive government assistance but in all reality many are working a minimum wage job with children plus and food and other experiences. What is wrong with wanting to see our fellow neighbor do better or have a chance to TRY and get on their feet?
We don't know everyone's situation or why they ended up were they are but should we deny them simply because they work a job we deemed unworthy?
Ask yourself how many times do you visit a place of business with people working for minimum wage?
Maybe $15 is too much but minimum wage should be raised, also keep in mind we have more senior citizens back in those minimum wage positions.  I'm sorry but it breaks my heart to see someone who should be enjoying their retirement but still working because they cost of living has gone up so much. Really what harm will raising minimum wage do to us? Personally ask yourself who are you to deem someone unworthy? Someone you've never met, formed an opinion about a job you've never performed.
Sometimes its about thinking from another perspective than our own.
I will say I have gained a lot more respect for the "working class", I've simply gained more respect for my fellow sister and brother.

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Hydeia Broadbent receives 2014 Visibility & Progress award. PhRMA 2014 Research & Hope Awards.

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On September 10th, 2014 I was present with an award from PhRMA for my activism work. It nice to be recognized, especially at time when its hard to get people to care and or join on fight against HIV/AIDS, oftentimes I wonder if people are still listening. I have to say being in the room filled with people still in the fight has help me become re-energized and excited again about being out in the forefront and against all odds fighting for what you believe in. For me being honored along side Phil Wilson was awesome, he has put together many programs, awareness campaigns and MANY HIV testing initiatives.  I truly admire his efforts and commitment.

Press Play to see introductory award video:  2014 Research and Hope Awardee: Hydeia Broadbent, 

 Honorees included:

• Phill Wilson,  President and CEO of  the Black AIDS Institute: Excellence in Advocacy & Activism Award
• Katie Hiers, AIDS Alabama: Hope Award for Community Champion
• Bristol-Myers Squibb Company Discovery Medicine: Biopharmaceutical Industry Research

                   

We also had the honor of meeting and taking a picture with President George W. Bush, who give the keynote address during the award ceremony. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised at how much personality he has, and how smart President Bush truly is. The media sure does have a way of depicting people whichever way they want to. One of President Bush’s greatest legacy maybe his battle against AIDS. While in office he established the President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief, or PEPFAR.  An initiative to combat AIDS in Africa that has saved millions of lives.  

with President George W. Bush

With fellow honoree Phill Wilson Black AIDS 

John J. Castellani is President and CEO of PhRMA

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I was good enough for Zack Morris

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So I like many tuned into Lifetimes "The Unauthoized Saved by the Bell Story". Yes Saved by the bell is happy part of my memory from my teenage years. Who didn't want to attend Bayside?
Kelly, Jessie, and Lisa were the girlfriends we wish we had as our best friends. Who didn't want to date Zach and Slater?
Well I'm team Zach, so sorry Slater.
One thing about the movie I learned was in real life Mark Paul Gosselaar dated Lark Voorhies (Zach & Lise). My heart did jump and jacks, I was so over joyed.(probably a little too overjoyed)
Even though Zach and Lisa had one episode were they explored the idea of dating and kissed in one episode. That's all we got, one episode even though they agreed to start dating and never did. With all the "subjects" the writer decided to tackle I wonder if interracial dating was totally off limits.  Was it totally unfathomable that could ever take place?
I can't really recall but as a young black girl did the thought ever cross my mind, secretly did I hope Lisa would catch Zach's eye or by that time was I already programmed to know better.  Even though at the time my parents were in an interracial marriage (black mom/white father) the images I seen never supported that idea.
Now as a grown woman I don't see color, when a man catches my eye he catches my eye. I do not discriminate when it comes to men.
Now I won't lie I did go through a period when I thought I should only date black men because of the lack of black positive power couples. I think most young black girls are left with the impression we are only suppose to date black men. Maybe subconsciously we are led to believe we are not good enough to date anyone else nor beautiful enough to catch the eye of the blond hair blue eyed kid.
I never know these feeling were inside til I watched "The Unauthoized Saved by the Bell Story". Seeing a picture take many years ago of Mark Paul Gosselaar and Lark Voorhies brought pure joy to my soul. I felt vindicated in some weird way, that the little black girl was actually good enough for Zack Morris, that I actually had a chance and my crush was not in vein. Well in real life I was good enough.
At the end of the day I believe love is blind and sees no color, we are free to love who we choose.

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The Right Man.

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This was passed unto me from a friend, I wish I had read this before my last relationship but when we know better we do better.

 I agree with a lot about what is said and somethings I'm not so sure on.  It's a a lot but a really good read, hope you enjoy!

The Right Man,

First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. Second the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual basis before it’s made on an emotional one. “What about love? Shouldn't that be third?” you ask. No, and I’ll tell you why. “The heart is deceitful above all things about beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jer. 17:9) The heart is willful and driven by its own agenda. It does not consider things rationally and intelligently – it just loves to love Therefore, you have to point it in the right directions: “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (prov. 4:23).

Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance from God, check out his attributes, and then allow your heart to engage. Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believe that the biblical design would be friendship, courtship, and then marriage. Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and accountability, learning and growing together. Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another exclusively—it is the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of marriage altar. It is period of laying a foundation and preparing your life after marriage. But dating? Well, if you do date, use the time wisely to gather facts:

1.       Check out the fabric. Is the person mate material? Does this man have an intimate relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ? Does he care what God thinks about his behavior? Is he accountable to God as well as another co-laborer in the faith? Accountability is an important factor. It is imperative to maintaining a committed relationship. Is your potential spouse a member of the same family—the family of God? Scripture if clear on this: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Cor. 6:14). You need to have common interests and values and agree on the essentials of living day to day. You have a similar spiritual walk. You eat the same spiritual diet. You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have like interests, like goals in life, like opinions on basic life issues. You have had like experiences in your background. Though there is some truth to the idiom that opposites attract, like-minded folks fare better together.

Furthermore, does he want to get married? If you want to be married and your dreamboat isn’t interested, don’t waste your time. Remember women fall in love and get married. Men decide to get married and then look for a wife. Note the difference in order. So if a guy says he’s not looking for anything serious, take his words seriously. If he’s not going in your direction, get off the bus and wait for the right one.

2.       Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The man who is right for you will pursue you, and Gods hand in the relationship will be clear. No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends. Scripture says “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord” (Prov. 18:22). Note—who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the beginning of time, God has transported men and women across the world in order to put them together. At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene and he will find you. In God’s perfect design, the man is the one who recognizes his mate. Adam had no problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib. You do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You don’t have to help a guy out because he’s shy! Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they truly want. The man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of great price in his life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand. If he is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that he is not interested.

Many a woman’s mother has suggested that it is a good idea to marry a man who loves you more than you love him. As cold as that sounds, it actually might be scriptural if you stop to think about it: “We love him because He first loved us” (1 john 4:19). Until then, take the ultimate chill pill. You don’t need a bunch of men in your life to make you feel all right about yourself. You need only one man--- your man, the one God has selected to select you. And trust me; the right man at the wrong time can be just as awful as the wrong man at any time. So trust God’s timing in this. He is the ultimate matchmaker. Relax, sit pretty an allow yourself to be found. Again, --- WAIT until the man voices his intentions. He should take the lead in establishing the relationship. You may have inkling that he is the one but God will use the man to set the tone of the relationship. Allow him the opportunity to woo you—this is your first act of submission. Jesus set the standard for all men to follow. They should love us first, and they should lead the relationship.

3.         The man in your life should not desire to move into your house, only your heart. A man who prepares for your future has made his intentions clear. A man who is husband material has the means to take care of a wife. He is responsible human being who understands he needs to have something to offer. In short, a man should have the means to be a suitable lover for you.

4.       Check out his bubbies. Everyone knows birds of the same feather flock together, yet most women fail to see the connection between a man and his friends. A man’s pals tell you a lot about the person that you haven’t seen yet. They reveal things about the guy’s character that might be hidden when he is on good behavior. Everyone knows how to put his best foot forward. Don’t stay focused on the foot, check out the rest of the body!

5.       Check out his relationship with his mother. How does he treat her? This is your preview of how he will treat you. There are lots of men who, because of a negative relationship with their mothers, really don’t like women, yet say they do. Unresolved issues between mother and son continue between husband and wife.

6.       Remember that a man’s family reveals the cloth from which he’s cut. Take note and decide whether you want your future with the man in your life to look like his present family situation.

7.       Check out the patterns of his life. Do you see repeated cycles of drama in his personal kingdom? Broken relationships? Problems in making commitments, including the job market? Mood swings? Is a problem always someone else’s fault? Does he embrace responsibility or shirk it? Does he keep his promises? Is he a man of good reputation? Remember all garments look wonderful hanging  in the store, but with wear, some begin to unravel. Give yourself time and space to check out the man in your life. Time will always reveal whether or not he is made of the right stuff.

8.       Does this man have a vision for his life? Is he running with that vision? Remember, God decided Adam got busy DOING his assignment. As we saw with Adam, a man doesn’t need help until he is busy doing what he was created and cailed to do. Is the man in your life guided by sense of destiny and purpose, or does he just allow life to happen around him? A man who is not certain of his mission be a most miserable person—and you’ll be miserable too if you know where YOU want to go in life.

A man who has vision is not intimidated by a woman whose mission statement is clear. He will be your best ally, cheerleader and assistant because he wants you both to make it! A man who cannot be supportive of your achievements because he is floundering in a sea of uncertainty over his own life is not a healthy partner to have and hold forever. Creating dependencies or feelings of obligation is not the way to get the best out of your man. Somewhere along the way, he will resent you and flee from the smothering burden of obligation associates with you. You want a man who is firmly anchored in his identity in Christ. Remember, we are looking for a man who will be priest and leader in his home. His first instinct should be to want to cover you, and provide for you. Your job is  to decide if this the man God has ordained for you to complement.

9.       Complementarily. Do your talents and gifts complement his? Do his gifts complement yours? What about your temperaments? Do you see the two of you as an effective team capable of bringing blessings to the lives of those around you? Do your futures mesh? Can you coordinate your gifts in an attractive and effective way? This is why knowing your purpose is so important. Make sure your heart beat for the mutual causes. When I go shopping I always consider the fabric, the fit and what I already have in my closet. Will my next purchase be a complementary addition to what I already have? If I find that I am going to have to buy shoes and matching accessories to go with a new outfit, I leave it right on the rack. Is it too expensive a proposition.

If the man you meet makes you feel that you need to completely reinvent yourself, something is wrong. This is where I ask you to consider that relationship in terms of cost. Is this relationship expensive spiritually, emotionally or physically? Does your longing for a mate make you willing to forfeit who you are in the process? Or does he see you as the gift that you are? The man in your life should consider  you as a rare find, a priceless jewel- because of you he is getting ready to get blessed big-time! Any relationship that causes you to feel unworthy, unlovely, unacceptable, undesirable, or that you have to work for love , is too expensive! God has called the man to cover, protect and provide not only materially for woman but emotionally and spiritually as well. You should be richer in mind, body and spirit for your union with the man of your dreams. The man in your life should make rich deposits into your heart and spirit not withdrawals.  

10.    Does he have a healthy love and acceptance of himself? Make sure the man in your life has taken time to heal from past relationships and has made peace with himself. How he cares for himself is how he will care for you. A man’s relationship with God is crucial here. His love for himself will only be as strong as his love for God. This is not something that you can impart. You cannot be his savior or teacher. This is out of spiritual order. In his rightful place as your personal priest, he should be leading you to a richer relationship with Christ. If he is causing you to compromise your faith and destabilize your walk, if he is leading you into sexual sin or causing you to be distracted from your commitment to Christ, the relationship is too expensive. Offending the Lover of your soul, who promises you eternal love, is too high a fare to pay for ride that is limited run. If you and your man can’t soar in Spirit, when the force of your love for one another is tested by the pull or gravity of the world, your union will not be able to survive. So you decide. How much is your life worth? How much is your love worth? You will be able to accept only what you believe you deserve. God himself calculated the worth of your love and decided it was worth His life. He now pledges you His love eternity. Yes Jesus sets the example for all others to follow when he paid a ransom for his bride. Should you expect less from a mortal man? Throughout the Biblical age, men were willing to pay the cost for the hand that they desired. The trust of the matter is, everyone knows that anything worth having, costs. And no one gets a rider in this life for free.

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Just Deia Episode 1 Walking Out on Faith (Video blog)

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New Video Blogging. My first video

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AskHydeia@Gmail.com

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The devalue of the African American life.

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The devalue of the African American life.

First let me say I apologize if you find this blog offensive, my way of thinking is a little different than most.

I understand that from the beginning we were never respected or treated with respect, along the way we had an army of people from all ethnicity who helped fight for the rights we have today. It’s sad and clear that the human life no longer seems anything of value to most individuals, I really can’t even comprehend the mindset of most today and I no longer try to. I've learned life is really about simply learning to live together with people whose views and thinking our very different from our own.

I wish that my community would get back to the building up of our people.  Are you apart of the programs that help young unwed mothers? Are you encouraging and showing inner city youth that there is more to the world and on the tips of their fingers if they strive for greatness?  

Seems like somewhere down the line some of us made it up and out of neighborhoods, while you can never forget from you came from we just never went back to revisit or do the work that is needed to help our people. We can fight for acceptance or work on helping create individuals who you won’t mind being around. I've heard the comment many times “I can only do my people in small dozes” or “I don’t go around certain groups of people”.

It’s clear the negative image outweighs the positive image of African Americans.  At times as I scroll down my Facebook I see the countless videos of the fighting and other really sad behavior.  I’m aware of websites that also promote destructive behavior for entertainment purpose, I’m aware of those who have sold out on reality TV for a pay check. These are the images that our communities are taking in; people who have really huge voids who can’t determine between entertainment and reality, they are the ones being filled with these negative images. These images for the common person are seen as fun and light and unaware of the underline harm that is not caught by the average eye.

I am a person who believes in the power of mentor-ship, while I've been able to experience some really great things and traveled a lot of places and meet some amazing people it was your typical “everyday” women who had a great influence over me when the world had a hold on me. I've spoken countless times about having really difficult years, years that were plagued with hurt and pain and sometimes made me unpleasant to be around.  I contribute my turn around to individuals within my community, those involved in rites of passage programs, individual dedicated to instilling values within the youth to create productive members of society. Too many of us are OK with bashing and arguing with the opposition instead of attacking and working on the negative images that hunt us. These same videos and other images we are seeing means others outside of our communities are seeing, while we know no one person   represents everyone for someone else constantly seeing only negative images would reflect a negative view on everyone. This issue is so deep and complex there can be many ways to address this issue but the point of my post was to simply say someone cannot find value in what they do not respect. At times I feel we failed our ancestors who suffered and endured for us to live today, those that became before us were about the people; today we must ask what are we about?

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Oh no I'm human: Why I'm happy about a 299 viral load!

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Yesterday was a blessing, my viral load is 299!

I bet you are asking or anyone who is living with HIV/AIDS is probably thinking I’m crazy and this is no big deal and I shouldn't be seeking praise for this.

 (which I’m not, just think we should celebrate some good news)

For me this is the first time in a long time I've been able to be back on track with my medical treatment. I'm sharing this for anyone who may have fallen off of seeking care and adhering.
We all face hard times and sometimes get off track but its about making sure we don't stay off track.
For a while life was just running me over and I slightly checked out in a few areas.

First I was no longer considered disabled by the state of Nevada, which also meant I lost my state cover insurance. Since I was a child being cover by the state was all I had known. For months I was searching for help on where to go to get coverage at times it seemed like I was running around in circles.  Talking to all different groups in Las Vegas with some not knowing where to direct me for sign up for the programs. (Which to me is crazy because if you are not offering something you should be able to direct people where to go but I digress). When I did find programs because of my speaking engagements I was making too much and would be dropped from the programs not soon after signing up.

Now let me explain this: I don’t make millions from events, I’m able to be paid because I am an educator, but at times there would be months with no income and at that time I had no other income then my speaking engagements. When checks did come in sometimes I would be paying bills that were months behind and also would have new bills to pay for. These programs are not designed to understand that, they only see the lump sum you have at that moment. Even if I was able have a whole check to myself it still wasn't enough to take of medical treatment that I needed but it was too much to stay on certain programs.  Also as a “business” I was operating wrong, I started as a child and was a business before knew how to handle my business. I have not been operating under a foundation nor did I incorporate. I was Individual/sole proprietor. My business people can understand why this was wrong.

Now I am slowly learning how to properly handle the business aspect of what I’m doing and its not easy or something you get right over night.

Now when I say life was running me over not only was I trying to figure out my medical situation I was dealing with loved ones who were struggling and or out of work. Sometimes one check would go to three households. There was a time when both I and my sister were out of work and we had to visit food banks or depend on other family members or our church for help. Do you know how hard that was? Sometimes asking for help is one of the most difficult things in the world but it was a truly humbling experience.
 I refused to sign up for food stamps because I didn't want to be one more government program, nor have to worry about paying anything back. I hate HATE receiving any type of assistance.

 On top off all that I was ending a 9 year relationship in one of the worst possible ways, the end came when I found myself in legal trouble due to the unknown illegal activity of my ex. That's right I got "Phaedraed" Now because I’m not the chick who’s going to take a charge for her man I spent almost every dim I had on an attorney to make sure the outrages chargers didn't stick, sorry but I seen to many people be messed over by public defenders.
 (Now you have to wait for my memoir to come out for all the details) This is not nothing pretty or cute nor am I boasting or proud about it but its something I went through. On top of that my car ended up going out and paying the money to have it fixed just wasn't a top priority for me also taking the bus all over Las Vegas wasn't something I could at that time mentally handle. So yes I shut ALL the way down for a while, which this also explains a lot about my weight gain. (I'm an emotional eater)  So at some point I’m not sure when but my health took a back seat. At the time I didn't think there was anything I could do nor did I know where to turn for help, so I ended up taking a BREAK from the reality of my status. I simply needed to gain my bearings. These last few YEARS have truly been a test and trail but I know through everything it’s helped me gain a closer relationship to God. I also believe this was preparation for what’s to come, what better way to show you how to have an appreciate for an abundance of blessings than to strip you down to nothing?

Now this post isn't about you feeling sorry for me because that’s not what I want, simply sharing why 299 viral load a blessing was. To once be told by the Doctor if you keep playing with your medications you’re going to die, (which I know) but when you’re not playing you simply can’t afford them to being told “looks like you’ll be undetectable was like a brick house being lifted off my shoulders. I’m not sure if I was holding the fear of poor health inside this whole time or the fact I've been walking on faith and finally felt a sense that everything would be alright in due time.

Everything isn't great but its OK working its self out to be alright, now I have to go hard with my programs and ideas or just be OK accepting the bear minimum.
( which we all should know I'm not going to do)

All this was happening over I believe a 3 year period, that's why my viral load was so high. It was at one time over a million.
To learn how about viral loads please visit viral-load

I wanted to share this because while I appreciate the love and support I’m flawed and at times uncomfortable. Social media can make our lives look awesome but I want to be known for being real and always getting back up. Plus I don’t want anyone thinking things are just handed to me, I’m working my butt off in this field to deliver and make things happen that I believe in. 

If any of my reads are having a hard time accessing their medications please check out AIDS Healthcare Foundation Los Angeles-based AIDS Healthcare Foundation (AHF) is a global organization providing cutting-edge medicine and advocacy to more than 200,000 patients in 28 countries. We are the largest provider of HIV/AIDS medical care in the U.S. - 

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Dear Lil Kim

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Dear Lil Kim,

Please STOP, stop now!

Now I grew up on Lil Kim and no one can deny we seen a resemblance between Nicki Minaj and you when she first came out. 

 ( don't believe me just google Lil Kim diss Nicki Minaj and click on images)

The only ones who may deny this are those darn 90’s babies who love rap but know nothing about the ones who helped paved the way. I’m sure somewhere down the line you felt disrespected, I’ve heard a few interviews but I don’t remember the whole story but that’s old news. Also respect is something lost on this new generation anyways.

  Wasn't the point of making waves and breaking down doors so someone else could have a shot? I’m not sure if you know this about show business there will always be someone new, that doesn’t mean your work is discredited just means its someone’s else time.  Now I’m not die hard Nicki Minaj fan but I can give respect where respect is due she’s doing her thing, no one can argue on that fact but what I find to be sad is you still coming for someone who is paying you NO attention. Haven’t you heard the saying “a queen does not leave her leave her throne to address peasants”? I would have loved for you to put out a mixtape where you just did what Kimmy does, just rap.  I’m not sure what people in your camp are telling you but right now this isn’t a good look.  You need a friend that behind closed doors you can vent to because we don’t want to hear you mention Nicki anymore.

Photo credit www.rap-up.com

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When it comes to dating with AIDS. (this is my own personal view)

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What I’ve come to realize is you’ll never be able to get with the typical men/women 

(I so wanted to use other word for men so use your imagination and work with me)

For a while I was living in a bubble, I didn’t know so much stigma was still around when it came to HIV/AIDS. I guess I assumed that with the advancement in medications would mean society’s knowledge about the disease would also advance.

Well since I've been back out on the market(I’m single) I can tell you most men I've come across are not checking for the chick with AIDS.

Now I’m not promoting sex just want to break the science down for you.

Women can get HIV via vaginal sex more easily than men because the vagina has a larger area which can be exposed to HIV compared to the penis.

With nature men are the givers and women are the receivers, which is also applied to sex. A penis does not take fluids in, when it comes to HIV there has to be a point of entry, a cut or a sore or even a wound for the vaginal fluids to enter.  The penis is made to ejaculate while the vagina for consuming.  That is one of the many reason why women have a higher rate of HIV infection when speaking in terms of heterosexual sexually activity people.  Now if we were to speak about anal sex that is a different story.  Penetration can tear the tissue inside the anus, allowing bacteria and viruses to enter the bloodstream. Studies have suggested that anal exposure to HIV poses 30 times more risk for the receptive partner than vaginal exposure.

Now I stated all that because most times a man approaches you because he finds you attractive, once a man hears your status unless he works in the world of HIV/AIDS or HIV/AIDS closely affect him in someway he thinks all bets are off when it comes to sex which is not the case. Most cases the first question when getting to know someone is what do you do for a living, when I state I’m an HIV activist the follow up question is how did I get into this field.

 At this point and time I’m currently practicing abstinence so sex isn't the first thing I’m thinking about, I've even gone as far as saying I won’t have sex again til I’m married. I REALLY want to stick to that but I’m human, I want to wait til marriage because I believe in something called soul ties. Very deep and a little too complicated to explain here, well today.

Now I've been in relationships before had positive and negative experiences if you seen  “Oprah’s Where Are They Now” you heard a brief part of the negative experience.( If you did not see the update I’ll post the link at the bottom of this blog). The positive relationship leads me to say my status has not always hindered me from being in a relationship.

I decided to write this blog because I've been thinking about my own situation and maybe where I've been getting it wrong. At this point I’m so over being stuck in the friend zone, I think I've been focusing my attention on the wrong type of men. So this might go out to other women who are HIV positive. Now I’m an around the way kind of girl, grew up in the inner city of North Las Vegas (yes we have hoods, shout to NORTH TOWN). So I guess in some aspects I’m attracted to the urban man.  He likes nice cars with rims, the tims and sometimes takes part in hood activities. Now I've had enough bad experiences to know to stay away from the street active urban man, I do currently aim for men with high ambition who are currently working towards their goals and sometimes has to put a suit on but none the less somewhere in that category is the men who catches my eye.

Now when I look at my friends who are living with HIV/AIDS and have successful relationships their men or women are not typical at all. They think outside the box, they are men/women who have taken up some type of social issue or are passionate about something other than what’s trendy or common. They are men/women who don’t see everything black and white; they are thinkers who look at everything objectively. They are also not the types who are image concerned, or care too much about the typical things the urban men/women does.  I’m not referencing race here just characteristics. The man/women you date would have to be someone who would be willing to be open minded and take the time to do the search and learn more.

With advancement in treatment and medications it is possible for me and others to get married have sex& produce children without passing HIV on. You just need to be aware of your partner’s status upfront in order to be safe and aware.

So keep hope alive you will find love my fellow soldiers

Anundetectable viral load reduces the likelihood of transmission by 96 percent

.http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/prevention/research/art/

Oprah's Where Are They Now Part 2

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Crown Me Queen: Las Vegas

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On Apirl 19th 2014 I was honored by No Boiz Allowed and Black Girls Inspired at their 3rd annual Crown Me Queen event in Las Vegas, NV.
The Crown Me Queen Luncheon is a one day event designed to gather all women, young and seasoned who are career driven and life lovers to celebrate all facets of being a woman. The goal of the luncheon is to empower the mind, strengthen the skill and polish every woman's imperfections.
I had the honor of attending the event with some of my family, for me that was a great gift because often times I attend events without my loved one.

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What you can expect from Oprah's Where Are They Now update.

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I’m super excited for this update on Oprah’s Where Are They Now.

If you follow me on social media you know it’s one of my goals to meet the big O (again) this is a small step but it’s a step. 

I have to say a big THANK you to everyone who submitted my name, you guys did it. From posting on OWN’s Facebook page to their official website they heard your voice loud and clear and for that I’m grateful

I was first contacted by Harpo back in 2012 but the timing wasn't right, its clear you guys never gave up.

I have to explain it’s not the interview or being seen on TV that I’m excited about but the fact you guys pulled for me has truly motivated me. At times it’s very hard to stay in this fight, getting people to listen and or care. I won’t even go into trying to finding sponsors or funding for projects that I've developed or I’m partnering with, I won’t lie at times it can be draining and hard to hang onto hope.  Because of you guys and your support I’m hanging on and giving it another year to go after everything I want to bring to light. Myself and countless others are fighting an epidemic that is no longer in the headlines and let’s say it, AIDS is no longer the “it” disease.

Knowing what I know about living with AIDS I feel I would be doing a disservice not just to myself but others because HIV/AIDS is 100% preventable. 

OK enough with my rant……

What can you expect from this update; well I’m opening up about growing pains from relationships with guys because I’m always asked about my dating life (y’all just noisy J)  to what it was like growing up in the spotlight. Not sure what they will use because I have no control over editing but I wanted people to see me in another light, I am now a woman. A woman who faced struggles not just in growing up with AIDS but all type of struggles, struggles some of you may be surprised by how deep they were.  I can’t go too deep and I’ll blog again after they airing but overall I’m excited about the fact that we will be talking about AIDS, I hope this from this segment you’ll start a dialog with your family, friends and coworkers.

Until next time

-Hydeia 

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Let's Stop HIV Together: Video.

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I this year I had the honor to take part in the CDC’s Let’s Stop HIV Together campaign which gives voice to people living with HIV from all walks of life, alongside their friends and family members. As part of the campaign, individuals share their personal stories and call on everyone to join the fight against the disease. The campaign features singer Jamar Rogers from "The Voice" and Regan Hofmann, editor in chief of POZ magazine.  I had the pleasure of shooting with one of my good friends Jurnee Smollett-Bell. Billboards were placed in airports, subways and communities around the US. A short commercial has been running on some cable out lets, here is my short testimonial from the campaign. If you would like more information please visit http://www.cdc.gov/features/LetsStopHIV/ 

 If you would like more information please visit http://www.cdc.gov/features/LetsStopHIV/ 

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At home HIV test.....

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There are a lot of mixed emotions about the at home HIV test.

Some believe it’s a great idea to give people the freedom and privacy to take the test in the comfort of their own home. Others believe that is it a bad idea and some may commit suicide in the result of a positive result. There is misconception that some receives their positive test results and counseling is offered right on the spot, I too was under this impression until fellow AIDS Activist Masonia Traylor informed me otherwise. Some programs in different cities may offer counseling but a majority do not, you are given your results and the rest is up to you to figure out. Others have expressed their concern about someone testing positive and there is no record for the health department to enforce that an HIV positive individual disclose their status to their sexual partner. This is another misconception; the health department cannot make anyone share their HIV status that goes along with personal responsibility. If anything the number of positive results from a health department collected is used for data and statistics, overall I did not see a problem with the at home HIV test. The biggest concern people have when going for an HIV test is their privacy, I believe if a person is willing to pay for the HIV test they will also move forward with taking care of their health. I honestly see no difference between an at home pregnancy test and the at home HIV test… 

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Not sure what it is about Janlle Monae I like but I really like her. Maybe it was the first time I seen her perform she jumped in a pool fully clothed!!! (who does that)

I knew she was different, a breath of fresh air. I absolutely love her new song Prime Time featuring Miquel. Check her out here Janelle Monae Prime Time ft. Miguel

xoxo Deia

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Intentionally spreading HIV.

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I'm sick of these "warnings" going out about people purposely spreading HIV. If you were not quick to give up the goods, used a condom or request that you are your sexual partner got an HIV test no one could purposely do anything to you. It's 2013 we all know about STI/STD's so the question must be asked why are we so willing to trust our bodies in the hands of a person we just met?
When are people going to take some responsibility for their part in it? I'm not talking about someone in a committed relationship or marriage, I'm talking about the quick to give it up after 3 days or the one nightstand. We should know by now that HIV/AIDS doesn't have a certain look, we have to stand up for our health. We have to start to use our minds and not act off of emotion, trust yourself before you trust a stranger.  In no way am I saying a person should not disclose their status what I am saying is that the responsibility goes both ways.  When you enter into a new relationship this should be a step that is taken.
We have to do better...

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Thank you for the BIRTHDAY LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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My 29^th birthday was on June 14^th. Yes this post is a very late but better late than never, right? 

 First let me say THANK YOU for the bottom of my heart for all the birthday wishes, I truly felt on top of the world and loved.  Days leading up to my birthday I was on an emotional roller-coaster, while  29 is a blessing when I was not supposed to live this long. All I seen was 30 and I like many have a plan for my life. I had an idea in my mind where I am supposed to be by 30.  Realizing I was nowhere near where I want to be or planned to be. I started to freak out almost to the point of being depressed. While I am not where I want to be, I have to admit I am not where I use to be.  I have very high expectations of myself and this life of mine. I believed by 30 I would be married with children by 32, owning my operating my own business.  recently breaking up with a guy of more than 9 years and taking a financially hit,  totally throw me off track. I have yet to accomplish the goals I have set but with kind words from my mentors I realized I still have time. Also I realized 30 was not the end of the world. I spent my birthday celebrating with family and friends, small gathering at my home. I absolutely love when I can get a room filled with all of my favorite people for laughs and an old fashion good time.  The day after my birthday I partied with my sister poolside at Bagatelle Beach: Las Vegas' ultimate pool and day club. (Shout to my sister Kisha)

My birthday look was inspired by Beyonce party video. I have to thank my wonderful up and coming makeup artist Mar-chae' for bring this look that was stuck inside my head to life. If you happen to be  in Las Vegas and want to check her out she can be contacted at makeupbydchae@yahoo.com.

Overrall I enjoyed my birthday and I am ready for the big 3-0!!!

With some of my familia

All the kids wanted was those cupcakes and the cake

One of my sisters Kim, Me, cousin Alexis and baby sister Trisha.

Love this woman right here sister and nail technician in Las Vegas. Check her out at Get Nail Vegas only 24 hour nail salon.. 

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My trip to Namibia!

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This past April I traveled to Namibia with the US State Department, I presented for their week long HIV/AIDS Awareness program.  I’ve wanted to go back to Africa for a while now; Namibia is located in Southern Africa.  When I was 15 I had the chance to travel to Ghana but I at that time I was not mature enough to truly take the experience to heart. Now being an adult I was truly looking forward to this experience.  Travels begin on April 19^th from Las Vegas to Chicago, from Chicago to Germany, from Germany to Namibia. I landed in Namibia on the 21^st.  Little did I know at the time I had pneumonia, day of travel it started with a sour throat.  I simply believed I was stressing or coming down with a cold. Because I knew how much money was spent on putting this event together I felt backing out at the last minute would be rude and unprofessional. Each day I had to present my day started with a high fever, I’ve never taken so much cold medicine in my life. My body ached and I had cold sweats through the night and day.  I have to admit it was scary being alone in a different county not feeling to well, I am happy to say I did not miss one engagement that was scheduled. I wanted to give my all and take everything in, this after all this could possibly be the last time I had the chance to visit Africa.  From Namibia we had to take another flight later on that afternoon to Katima  from Windhoek.  We spent two days in Katima where I presented at The University of Namibia: Katima Mulilo Camps.  After that we drove about 5 hours to Rundu.  The next day we drove about 5 or 6 hours to Windhoek where I gave my last speech for the US Embassy at Polytechinc of Namibia.

During the trip I was able to meet wonderful people and experienced a different culture. Traveling to the remote parts of Namibia and visiting the different villages I felt a sense of gratitude for the simple blessing we have here in America. I had the chance to speak to HIV positive people in a clinic, patients would walk for hours just to get their medicine and because of under staffing people wait almost all day. One of the biggest questions I got was how to tell a partner or the person you are dating that you are HIV positive, answer is simply too long for this post.  I was brought as encouragement to the patients to show someone who has been living with AIDS for over ten years, some of the patients were losing hope and wanted to stop meds. Also because of shortage of food some food it hard to take the medications, I know personal that the meds can cause havoc on ones stomach.  While things are hard here in the US it is nowhere near as bad as some other counties have it. I will admit things could be better here in the US and need improvement.   While in Katima I went to village where the adults got together to take care of children who lost their parents due to AIDS, these adults with very limited funds would take turns preparing meals for the young people. I watched them stand in line to get water from a well and carry buckets back to the village. I can say the spirit of the people was always pleasant, so happy about the simple things.  

I will prove the name of the group in case it is in anyone heart to donate.  

AIDS Awareness ribbons painted on the walls of the city

Sign right outside my hotel room, at night I would run because I was scared a crocodile would be waiting for me.

Bring water back to their homes..

Hotel on the river.

Site seeing on my free time.

Name of the Group: Chiseho project

Lang Barrow: barrowlang@ymail.com

 Location: Choto Compound Katima Mulilo

Bank: Standard Chartered Katima Branch

Branch Code: 080672

Swift Code sbnmnanx

Postal Address: Hage Gengob Street

                          Box 559 Ngweze

                          Katima, Caprivi

                          Namibia, Southern Africa

 Group Account Details

Account Number: 568929012

Account type: Cheque Account

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Hydeia in July Issue of Ebony Magazine.

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 I was honored when I was asked to do an interview about a different aspect of my life, still tied into HIV/AIDS but somewhat of a deeper look into my journey.  The interview conducted by Margena A. Christian senior writer for Ebony (and  my Soror #Ee-Yip)

What you can look forward to reading about is my spiritual journey and coming into owning and walking in my purpose. Without giving too much away I can say I am starting to speak openly about personal issues such as depression low self-esteem and insecurities. I know people look up to me and I want people to know that those in the spot light are human and as much as we want our heroes to be perfect they are still human and humans as we know are imperfect. Admitting your truths is the first step towards personal growth, at this point in my life I am working on becoming but best version on myself for myself…..  Also the picture used in Ebony is from a campaign I am on working with Until There’s A Cure, the bracelets can be brought online. Make sure you reference my name “HYDEIA” when ordering and 25% of the purchase will go to helping me with my ongoing efforts to raise awareness and helping with establishing my own foundation. Visit  www.Until.org to order you HIV/AIDS Awareness bracelet today! 

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